- Read Part 1, Sections 4f, 4h, 5f1, "Revising Thesis and Support, "Revising the Title, Introduction, and Conclusion," "Opening Paragraphs" (pp. 91-93, 130-132) in the St. Martin's Handbook.
- Research the source information of the article you used for Draft 1.1. Start with the information in the beginning of your textbook (pages iii-v), but you will need to go much further than that by using library databases, books, etc. I suggest starting by looking at the beginning of your textbook. Where was your article originally published? For example, the Facebook article was published in The New Atlantic. Once you know the source, go to TTU library's website. Click on the journal tab and type in the journal/magazine/newspaper you are looking for. Then click on the database that subscribes to this journal. This database is where you will do your research. If our library does not subscribe to your source (or you are doing an older piece like Swift's) you can use the internet for your research. However, you must be positive you are using a credible source. I suggest you narrow your google search to only include websites that end in ".edu"
Bring to class a typed page to turn-in for this week's quiz grade. Your typed page should include the original source information in MLA format (where was it published before it was published in your textbook? Or, if you are doing Swift or FDR, where was it published before it was put on that website?) and below the citation you need to answer these questions in a paragraph: What year was the article published? When was the source created? (For example, if it was originally published on a website, when was this website first created? Or if it was published in an academic journal, when was this journal founded? Include at least the year, possibly the date and month as well) Who is their intended audience? (Look under "about us" or "about this journal" - they usually state the gender, age, location, etc. of their readers; include all of this information). Also include any other relevant information you find out about your source. For example, if you are doing Swift's piece or FDR's speech you need to do research on the historical background of these works. We will be presenting these in class so make sure you are prepared.
Today in class we will...
- Present research on rhetorical analysis articles
- Discuss the importance of audience and purpose
- Discuss BA 7
- Discuss St. Martin's reading
- Analyze effectiveness of sample introductions
Brief Assignment 7: Revision of Introduction
You may use first person in this assignment
Objective: To develop new strategies for writing effective introductions for academic papers and to expand your understanding of what makes an effective introduction.
Purpose: The introductory paragraph of a document plays a key role in how readers respond to the entire text. In this assignment, you will attempt a revision of your introduction to Draft 1.1. Keep in mind that your original introduction may remain the better of your two efforts.
Description: To complete this assignment, review your Draft 1.1. Consider the following:
Does the initial focus of your draft as expressed in your thesis statement need revision?
Are your purpose for writing and target audience easily identified after reading your draft? If you need to revise your thesis (and thus, a substantial portion of your paper), or if you need to better focus your purpose and identify your audience, your revisions of your conclusion might start with those areas. You may need to make sure that your main point(s) are restated clearly, and that your readers understand the implications of your analysis. If you are satisfied with your focus, purpose, and audience, study your introduction to determine how clearly it reads. You may need to revise for coherence, emphasis, or conciseness (see Chs. 40 and 43 of your e-handbook), or you may need to work on sentence structure (Chs. 34-39 of your e-handbook).
If you need to work on specific grammatical and/or mechanical issues, consult the appropriate chapters in your e-handbook. Next, review the strategies for writing introductions in section 5f1 of The St. Martin’s Handbook. Then, copy and paste your original introduction from your 1.1 draft and re-read it. In a brief sentence or two, identify and explain which of the strategies from the textbook you used in composing this introduction.
If you cannot identify one of these strategies in your introduction, then describe the strategy you had in mind.
Next, revise your introduction. You must incorporate a strategy from the textbook that is different from the structure your conclusion originally used. Finally, write a short summary and evaluation of your revisions. Identify and explain which new strategy you used from the textbook and explain how changing the strategies used in your introduction will influence your readers’ response to your analysis. Also let readers know here which introduction, your original or the revision, is the strongest and why you believe that to be so.
The total length of the analysis should be 350-500 words, NOT including the original and revised introductions.
Some things the graders are looking for...
C1: Focus
Does the student thoroughly examine the quality of the introduction and demonstrate an understanding of the function of an introduction? Does the student use this examination and understanding to guide his or her revisions to the introduction?
C3: Sources and Evidence
Does the student’s revised introduction show noticeable improvement? Does the student support his or her critique by directly referring to specific parts of his or her introduction? This criterion is particularly important because students tend to use vague and generic language that could apply to any draft.
C5: Own Perspective
Does the student show authority in relaying his or her perspective about what should be revised in the introduction and in justifying the effectiveness of the revisions that he or she has made?
C6: Conclusion
Does the student provide an accurate evaluative statement about the overall effectiveness of the revisions? Does the student discuss the significance of the revisions her or she has made in the introduction?
C7: Communication
How effectively is the revised version of the introduction delivered? Does the student communicate his or her critique of the revisions effectively? Has the student organized his or her critique effectively? Are both the revised introduction and the critique relatively free of grammatical errors?
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