- Read Part 1, Section 5f2, "Concluding Paragraphs" (pp. 132-134) in the St. Martin's Handbook. You will have a reading quiz.
- Bring to class your conclusion paragraph from Draft 1.1 (Bring it in whatever state is in right now. It is fine if still looks the same as it did when you turned in Draft 1.1. You will have time in class to start on BA 8)
- Bring to class your textbook (If you did your rhetorical analysis on Swift's "A Modest Proposal" or FDR's speech, you need to print those out and bring them to class as well).
In class today we will...
- Have a quiz over the St. Martin's reading
- Class discussion on what an effective conclusion looks like
- Start working on BA 8
Brief Assignment 8: Revision of Conclusion
You may use first person on this assignment
Objective: To develop new strategies for writing effective conclusions for academic papers and to expand your understanding of what makes an effective conclusion.
Purpose: The concluding paragraph of a document plays a key role in how readers respond to the entire text. In this assignment, you will attempt a revision of your conclusion to Draft 1.1. Keep in mind that your original conclusion may remain the better of your two efforts.
Description: To complete this assignment, review your Draft 1.1. Consider the following:
Does the initial focus of your draft as expressed in your thesis statement need revision?
Are your purpose for writing and target audience easily identified after reading your draft? If you need to revise your thesis (and thus, a substantial portion of your paper), or if you need to better focus your purpose and identify your audience, your revisions of your conclusion might start with those areas. You may need to make sure that your main point(s) are restated clearly, and that your readers understand the implications of your analysis. If you are satisfied with your focus, purpose, and audience, study your conclusion to determine how clearly it reads. You may need to revise for coherence, emphasis, or conciseness (see Chs. 40 and 43 of your e-handbook), or you may need to work on sentence structure (Chs. 34-39 of your e-handbook).
If you need to work on specific grammatical and/or mechanical issues, consult the appropriate chapters in your e-handbook. Next, review the strategies for writing conclusions in section 5f2 of The St. Martin’s Handbook. Then, copy and paste your original conclusion from your 1.1 draft and re-read it. In a brief sentence or two, identify and explain which of the strategies from the textbook you used in composing this conclusion.
If you cannot identify one of these strategies in your conclusion, then describe the strategy you had in mind.
Next, revise your conclusion. You must incorporate a strategy from the textbook that is different from the structure your conclusion originally used. Finally, write a short summary and evaluation of your revisions. Identify and explain which new strategy you used from the textbook and explain how changing the strategies used in your conclusion will influence your readers’ response to your analysis. Also let readers know here which conclusion, your original or the revision, is the strongest and why you believe that to be so.
The total length of the analysis should be 350-500 words, NOT including the original and revised conclusions.
Some things the graders are looking for...
C1: Focus
Does the student thoroughly examine the quality of the conclusion and demonstrate an understanding of the function of a conclusion? Does the student use this examination and understanding to guide his or her revisions to the conclusion?
C3: Sources and Evidence
Does the student’s revised paragraph show noticeable improvement? Does the student support his or her critique by directly referring to specific parts of his or her conclusion? This criterion is particularly important because students tend to use vague and generic language that could apply to any draft.
C5: Own Perspective
Does the student show authority in relaying his or her perspective about what should be revised in the conclusion and in justifying the effectiveness of the revisions that he or she has made?
C6: Conclusion
Does the student provide an accurate evaluative statement about the overall effectiveness of the revisions? Does the student discuss the significance of the revisions her or she has made in the conclusion?
C7: Communication
How effectively is the revised version of the conclusion delivered? Does the student communicate his or her critique of the revisions effectively? Has the student organized his or her critique effectively? Are both the revised introduction and the critique relatively free of grammatical errors?
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