Class 11/10/11 & BA 9

Before class you need to...

- Read Part 1, Sections 4i, 4k-l, 5a-b, 5d-e, "Revising Paragraphs Sentences, Words, and Tone," "Editing," "Proofreading the Final Draft" (pp. 94-98,100-104) ; Part 8, Sections 40, 43, "Concise Writing," "Memorable Prose" (pp. 680-685, 700-706) in the St. Martin's Handbook

- Homework and quiz grade for this week: After you have read, complete Exercise 4.7 (located in 4i), Exercise 5.3 (located in 5b), Exercise 40.2 (located in 40c), and Exercise 43.4 (located in 43c) in St. Martin's Handbook. Type directly into the boxes and when you are finished click "view notebook." Remember to put your name in the first box (Exercise 4.7) right before your answer. If your name is not on it, you will not get credit. Make sure all four answers are there, then click "email answers." Then type in your class section (1301.59 for 9:30am, 1301.62 for 11am) and my email (hannah.weems@ttu.edu). Because these exercises are in two different chapters (chapter 1 and chapter 8), you need to send me two emails (one for each chapter). You must email this to me BEFORE our class on Thursday to get credit.

Today in class we will...

- Complete a practice BA 9 in work groups

- Take notes on video clips

Brief Assignment 9: Sentence-Level Revision

You may use first person in this assignment

Objective: To demonstrate your ability to revise paragraphs at the sentence level

Purpose: When you revise papers, you begin by reexamining content and organization of the paper overall before moving to more specific concerns such as the thesis, introduction, and conclusion. Usually, one of the final steps involves revising the body paragraphs to ensure that they reflect your intended purpose and reach your intended audience. This final brief assignment will help you accomplish that.

Description: First, review your Draft 1.1. Consider the following:
Does the initial focus of your draft as expressed in your thesis statement need revision? Are your purpose for writing and target audience easily identified after reading your draft? If you need to revise your thesis (and thus, a substantial portion of your paper), or if you need to better focus your purpose and identify your audience, your revisions of your body paragraph might start with those areas. You may need to make sure that your main point(s) are restated clearly, and that your readers understand the implications of your analysis.

For this assignment, use the guidelines from Chapters 4, 5, 40, and 43 in the St. Martin’s Handbook to revise a substantial body paragraph (i.e. at least 4 sentences in length) from your Draft 1.1. Paste the original paragraph from your 1.1 draft into the assignment so that your instructor will be able to compare the original with your revision. Finally, write a short summary and evaluation of your revisions. Identify and explain which new strategy you used from the textbook and explain how changing the strategies used in this paragraph will influence your readers’ response to your analysis. Also let readers know here which paragraph, your original or the revision, is the strongest and why you believe that to be so.

The total length of the analysis should be 350-500 words, NOT including the original and revised body paragraphs.

Some things the graders are looking for...
C1: Focus
Does the student thoroughly examine the quality and specificity of the body paragraph? Does the student use this examination to guide his or her revisions to the body paragraph?

C3: Sources and Evidence
Does the student’s revised paragraph show noticeable improvement? Does the student support his or her critique by directly referring to specific parts of his or her body paragraph? This criterion is particularly important because students tend to use vague and generic language that could apply to any draft.

C5: Own Perspective
Does the student show authority in relaying his or her perspective about what should be revised in the body paragraph and in justifying the effectiveness of the revisions that he or she has made?

C6: Conclusion
Does the student provide an accurate evaluative statement about the overall effectiveness of the revisions? Does the student discuss the significance of the revisions her or she has made?

C7: Communication
How effectively is the revised version of the body paragraph delivered? Does the student communicate his or her critique of the revisions effectively? Has the student organized his or her critique effectively? Are both the revised introduction and the critique relatively free of grammatical errors?